To Wake or to Party

Life continues to roll on at a thunderous pace.  I'm trying to concentrate on only one thing at a time but my head is a muddle of everything going on.
Among the muddle is reality.  Reality that Merv's health will and does continue to deteriorate.
Where my eyes were covered with blinkers the light of reality allows me to think clearly.  I've been to Centrelink, I've had a tour of at least two care facilities in the area.  Nothing will go ahead until I have the Centrelink forms filled in and returned.  They sit idle in the bottom of some random bag.  I dread filling them out, not because they are tiresome or time consuming but they take me a step closer to Merv going into full time care.  I am like the first time diver bouncing on my toes at the end of the high board.  I say to myself, 'take your time, the forms will wait.....maybe tomorrow I will hunt them down and face them head on.'
Today Merv and I updated our wills.  The last time we did this was in 2004.  A lot has changed in this time, including buying our new house.
With this under way the next step is to prepay Merv's funeral plan.  There are a half a dozen funeral businesses close by.  They range from relativity well priced to ridiculous!  They are offering  the same thing, just different prices.
Reaching sixty usually means a person has attended a whole heap of weddings and probably more funerals.  They usually follow a similar pattern.  Except for one,  A couple of years ago I attended a 'Celebration of Ian's Life.'  It was held in a community centre.  It was't a funeral though we congregated together to reminisce and celebrate the life of a dear friend.  There was no coffin, no church leader or celebrant.  No singing.
People sat around tables chatting and helping themselves to wine, beer and morning tea,  Ian was a big fan of cheesecake and most things sweet.  The food he had enjoyed was served by trained staff.  His widow wore a summery floral dress.  She chatted and laughed with guests,  This was no funeral.
His brother and a good friend stood and shared their stories of Ian.   We all felt that Ian was right there enjoying the atmosphere and banter.
I left a card.  I choose a blank card and penned a personal message to his widow.  Her husband died from a stroke, but he also had Huntington's Disease.
Today as I remembered that delightful morning I wondered if Merv would be happier with a celebration of his life with friends and family enjoying  morning tea rather than the sombre funeral service in a chapel.
Next week I'll ask him!