Friday 24 June 2016

Chilling News

I wonder what the oncologist thought as he delivered the bad news to the young man telling him there is nothing anyone can do.
I wonder if he went home that night and hugged his children with more affection.
I wonder if he warned them of the dangers of smoking telling them of this young man lying in his hospital dying.

I wonder if after he had passed on this devastating news he thought about this young man coughing, spluttering, relying on oxygen to breathe and pain killers to get through each day.
A young man only 35 years of age whose dreams were shattered in a moment.  There will be no more future planning.  All dreams of his future gone.

His girlfriend sits awkwardly on the young man's hospital bed.  The dreams of their future replaced with the fear ahead.  Weeks maybe months of pain before the end.
She holds his hand and speaks kind words but her head and her heart scream in horror.

His girlfriend's mother cries for his pain and for her daughter's grief.
After he is gone how will her daughter cope?

The girlfriend's mother remembers her father dying of lung cancer over twenty years ago. 
Recently she lost her mother.  She relives the grief of her father while still grieving for her mother.

The young man recently spoke with his mother, brother and sisters.  He has had little contact with them for almost half his life but now they are arriving next week from interstate to say hello and their final farewell.

This is not how he had pictured their reunion in his mind.

So much heartache and grief for all.  His family, his friends and himself.
The reality has yet to sink in.  He was jovial last week but now his hospital food holds no temptation.
The cancer continues to steal his life.

I am the girlfriend's mother.



Saturday 11 June 2016

Weeds and Other Interruptions

It's cold here in Perth.  Actually its been colder than usual for this time of the year but the garden weeds are enjoying the rain.  They are growing happily at an alarming rate.  I look at them; I can almost see them growing.  I ponder.  I imagine I am ripping them out of the ground but I go back to whatever I am doing.  It is warm inside and cold where those dreadful weeds grow.
It's almost a month since Mum passed away.  Photos of Mum still adorn the side of my fridge. We are still sorting things out and thinking in the past instead of the present.  I can't think of Christmas or Easter or Mother's Day without her.
I know my Mum (when she was physically able) would be outside ripping those weeds out of the ground but today I have no energy to do the same.
Mel's boyfriend (who she was engaged to in January but decided by February it was all too stressful for her) has been in the local hospital three times in the last month.  He has lung cancer and was diagnosed a fortnight ago with pneumonia.  Due to his cancer it is taking a long time for his body to recover.  He went back into hospital on Thursday after being home for only four days and he is still there. 
I don't know what to make of it.  He is on oxygen and an IV drip. Will he get better or will he just get worse?  Cancer is rarely forgiving.  He hadn't take his cancer medication for sometime and last week he resumed smoking.  I shake my head in disbelief.
I am despondent.   Not for me but for Mel.  She is not good with stress.  Not only has she recently lost her Grandmother but she is now running around and being an emotional kick bag for her boyfriend. 
She rang this afternoon as she often does.  She said she just wanted to cry and like all mothers I offered her what we consider words of wisdom.  We ended our conversation by arranging for her to stay with us tomorrow afternoon for a few days to relieve her stress.  I hope it helps.
Life is tough for many of us but I long just for a few weeks of so called normality.  I hope Mel's boyfriend recovers well enough to continue life as it should be.  He is only thirty five.