Best Behaviour

It's almost February, not sure what happened to January.  Merv has known for over a month that he will go into permanent care.  After visiting the facility with him four weeks ago I answered every phone call with trepidation.  I thought the call to say they have a room for him would come quickly but it's still an unknown.
I have booked future respite because I just don't know when that dreaded call will come.  I have said to myself I have to say "Yes".
The sad fact being you only secure a room when someone leaves.  They usually leave because they have departed our world.  That is the sad fact of a care facility; it is usually the last port of call before you are called home.  Yes, I know that's just how it is.
Since our tour of the care facility and a nice little chat with the Admissions Officer, Merv has been on his 'best behaviour'.  At least this has made life a little less stressful but there's no backing down now.
Of course it might just be the continuous tennis keeping Merv better mannered!  I suppose we will never know but whatever it is I'm happy for it.
Merv has new glasses, visited the dentist and awaiting another filling next week.  He has endured a trip to the podiatrist and on Tuesday it will be the hairdresser.  It only takes a few minutes there as he has little hair.  We bought him a new JVC TV with built in DVD player for his new room.  He has a new digital radio.
I'm running out of things to do before he goes.  There are as usual still clothes to buy and labels to sew but I think a few fun outings are now needed.
This move of course is not the end by any means.  After he moves into the care facility I will still take him out for the day.  I look forward to sharing fish and chips with him at Cicerello's on the foreshore.  Long walks (wheelchair) along the foreshore and other places of interest.  I won't have to worry about his washing, his shopping and cleaning up after him.  There will be more time to enjoy just being with him. No longer his carer but once again his wife.
Merv can no longer enjoy scones with jam and cream as he used to.  Instead I crumble the scone and layer it with strawberry jam then smother it with cream,  A de-constructed Devonshire tea!  Merv loves it.
It's time for the Australian Open men's final.  Merv has devoured his cheesecake and drank his Milo using his special 'Safe Straw'.  He's going for Roger Federer.  Whether he wins or not won't really matter, he just enjoys the tennis.  Winter Olympics begin Friday 9th February......

Broken Dreams

As the clock struck midnight on 31st December many of us made New Year's Resolutions some of which are already forgotten.  I'm still deciding what mine can be.
One thing I knew for sure this new year will be filled with gigantic changes.  Merv will go into permanent care.  I'll begin looking for a job as I'm too young to retire at 60.  Just lots of changes which I anticipated before that clock struck midnight.
Then there are people with plans of inspiration and joy awaiting them before their worlds are turned upside down in despair.
A family I know who lost their father in the last few years suddenly lost their son only a few days ago. He had a heart attack.  He was just a young man, not old at all.  Whatever their family expectations of the coming year; they are now dashed, splintered and unrepairable.  Such grief for a family still grieving.  It is unexplainable.  Though I don't know them well, I felt the rawness of their pain and grief.
"So unfair",  I shouted out loud to myself.
Huntington's Disease is unfair but we do have time to accept and to fight.  We can put plans into action, we can start the 'Bucket List' earlier is desired.  We prepare ourselves, we prepare others and we wait for symptoms, we wait and hope there is more waiting time available before the dreaded symptoms appear.  Recently there is news of a lumbar injection trial which is showing positive results in reducing HD symptoms.  The trial is still in it's infancy but everyone with a link to HD is excited and awaits further research results with much hope.
Merv's father wasn't so lucky.  He went into hospital at the age of 65 thinking he had suffered a stroke.  "Huntington's Disease," we all said.  "No, never heard of that!"  we chorused.  We choked when we learnt it is inherited from the affected parent.  Each child has 50% chance.  From Merv's father, Merv received the gene and thus it continues to the next generation.
A family, any family can be devastated by illness or loss.  It takes the strength of all to continue on to  offer hope and support to each other.

New Year's Eve celebrations