Believe It Or Not

I think back to the many times I thought I had it right.  My plans, my thoughts, my doing.  Mostly I got it right, sometimes it was just a bit too far fetched and other times I just got it so wrong.
Like the recent respite, it was just wrong.
Merv came home yesterday, his face was red raw, he wasn't shaved properly.  I asked him if he had a good time in respite and he remarked he had.  He knew nothing of why I had turned up suddenly last Tuesday to feed him with his favourite meal.
When your thoughts invade your very being and your mind is in turmoil you know you need to do something to put it right.  Gut feeling, yes that what drove me to pick up the phone and contact his regular respite provider.  From experience I know you often have to book a year in advance.  I asked if on the 'off chance' they had respite available on the dates I needed in November.  She took just a moment before replying she did.  I booked it.  I know Merv will be fed properly and I won't need to worry.
I thought about why I had it so wrong.  Was it because the respite facility was only ten minutes away and promised high care facility and care?  Yes, I believe it was.  A little like a wolf in sheep's clothing as the expression goes.  I was fooled, I fell for it and I had my fingers burnt. We live and learn.
Everyday we hear of people who are duped, scammed, conned and fall victim to unscrupulous, immoral person/s.
It wasn't so long ago a friend of mine, a bank manager told the story of a lady begging her for a loan to pay someone in Nigeria who promised her a whole lot of money.  My friend insisted it was a scam, her customer didn't or couldn't believe it.  The bank manager shook her head and of course no loan was provided.  Thousands of people with the same expectation lost millions of dollars.
Today people are still duped by scammers on the phone impersonating the tax department or other government departments.
Just a little joy, an unexpected windfall, a miracle, a well deserved blessing, whatever we call it, it's not impossible.  Many times Merv and I have been blessed with a windfall of an unexpected nature.
We have blessed with funds from my Uncle's passing, he had no family of his own.  We won a short holiday at the Royal Show to Albany complete with accommodation and travel.  How amazing was that!
Merv's employer at times blessed us with unexpected large sums of money from a couple of hundred dollars to over $3,000.  Even when he had to leave work due to his declining health we were able to apply and had approved his disability insurance on his super.  Because Huntington's is a genetic disease we were never sure if it would be paid out.  Like everyone else we had just hoped for the best!
I hope we never lose our aspirations to aim high, to hope, to trust and enjoy life.

Always looking out for Merv and keeping him happy!

Horror-spite

I was wearing thin around the edges and I felt Merv's week in respite would help us both. He's been in respite so many times in the last seven years it's almost a piece of cake getting him ready, packed and delivered!  On Monday he had a forty minute trip to his Physio appointment first  but all went well, even the rain decided to have a bit of a break!
All hell broke out when we returned home with less than an hour for lunch, toileting and getting Merv into the car.  I went to open his bedroom door only to find it locked from the inside,  I twisted the knob, I pulled it, it wasn't going to budge.  I found Allen keys, screw drivers, knives etc but nothing would release the lock,  finally I twisted the plate around the knob and used the screwdriver to remove the screws.  Off came the doorknob and a mighty push which exposed a hole in the door to the room beyond, but it was still locked fast!  On the metal bar which remained in the exposed hole was a little pin which I pushed.  Presto the door opened and a wave of relief swept through me.  Another trip to Bunnings for a new door knob without a lock is on my list now.
We arrived at the respite house all smiles and apprehension but soon the staff were in full swing with umpteen forms to be filled in and signed. All appeared to be going well.  I unpacked his suitcase and belongings at a leisurely pace and then realised to my horror I had forgotten his toothpaste.  Not just any toothpaste but the Biotene toothpaste for dry mouth.  A chemist only product!
Unfazed I said goodbye to Merv promising to return later with the toothpaste.  I trotted off to the shopping complex indulging myself with a variety of purchases.  I leisurely visited  many of the newly opened  shops,  I nagged myself to remember the toothpaste, yes I remembered!
It was almost dark before I returned to the respite house.  The carer in charge let me in and remarked Merv had not eaten his Baked Beans.  Baked Beans? I remarked,  Merv hates them and never ate them before becoming unwell.  I also questioned why he would be eating them on a Soft Food Diet as per his Care Plan and Swallowing Care Plan.  There was also an issue with him using a sipper cup which he shouldn't use.  The poor woman asked what she could feed him, I believe she finally gave him pureed fruit and custard.  I was devastated and wrote a long email to both Merv's Speech Pathologist and the Admissions Officer at the respite centre.
The next morning I received a call from the admissions nurse who assured me they would sort out his meals.  I rang at 4pm only to find they had nothing sorted for his evening meal.  Ok I said, I'll be there in 10 minutes with a tin of his favourite spaghetti and cheesecake, which I did.  I had hoped the carer in charge would take these items from me, but no I was encouraged to heat and serve his meal.  I  reported all of this to both Speech Pathologist and Admissions Nurse and Officer the next day.
By this time I was ropable.   I looked at the fortnightly menu the respite house had sent the Speech Pathologist and myself listing the food items Merv could eat and those he couldn't.
Again the next morning (day 3 of respite) another person rang and explained what they had put in place for Merv's meals.  She assured me I no longer had to supply meals.  I made sure she understood if I didn't hear back from her by 4pm I would be delivering pasta to him at 5pm.   I heard back.
Now I have a dilemma whether to let him stay there for the next time we have  booked respite for him being for two weeks block.
 I thought long and hard about it.  There is only one solution - to ask Merv if he enjoyed his stay and whether he would like to go back.  I'll do that on Monday when I pick him up.

Winter Blues

I had a list.  I don't always make a list of what needs to be done but Mel was on hand and I asked her to jot down a list.  It was just one of those dull type of days.  The weather was cloudy, drizzly and chilly.  The list didn't reflect much of any importance - just a list of things which needed to be done.
Then my mobile rang.  I ran to grab it but I was too late, it went to message bank instead. 
There is nothing worse, at least it seems that way at the time of a message received and you don't know who rang or what they want.  I took the bait and listened to my message. 
Thank God I missed the call.  One of my acquaintances, someone I know and meet from time to time wanted to visit me at my house today. 
I looked around at the mess.  Unmade beds, the floors that need the tough touch of my Dyson and maybe a swipe of a mop. Clutter in my kitchen which has also found it's way onto my dining table. I shook my head. The week has been full of sorting out Merv and Mel's community service issues, forms to complete, sign and send.  Phone calls made and people who expect me to chase them up. Most of which is yet undone.
No I don't want any unexpected visitors today thanks.  I just want a day of not much at all. Just to cross off a few items on the day's list on this dull grey day is all I wish to achieve.
I left a message on her phone after I had returned home a few hours later.  I explained that Friday is my day to get out and about while Merv is out enjoying his day centre activity.  I wonder if she will bother to contact me again.  I should care but I don't.  I should make an effort but I know I wont.
When the sun is warmer with the thrill of spring or even when summer shows promise I might ring and suggest she visits.  Or maybe I won't.

My dull grey day