Monday 19 November 2018

Sister Love

Merv hasn't seen his sister Vicki for over twelve months.  I don't know if he thinks of her but I do know he wanted to see her.  Just a few weeks back I received a call from the manager of the care facility where she lives.  Her enthusiasm was exciting.  She said Vicki was going on a weekend getaway with two carers and her plans included visiting Merv in his care facility.
Merv hasn't been out of room for weeks, he is so comfortable there and too uncomfortable to go elsewhere.  Myself and his carer hoaxed him into his wheelchair a few days before Vicki's visit.  We took him to the cafe area, enjoyed a short walk outside and a round or two of cards.
There was hope Merv would enjoy lunch with his sister in the cafe area a few days later.  The day arrived but nothing would budge him.  "No, No, No." was his answer.
Mel accompanied me to the care facility that morning, she was looking forward to see her Aunty.
Where there is Plan A there is always room for Plan B.  We threw Plan A out the window and brought Vicki and her carers to see Merv in his room.  She shrieked with joy as he appeared in her vision.  He grinned back.  It was lovely to see.  Lunch was soon served and once again they were apart.  With lunch in the cafe area finished and everyone fed our chatting brought bonding between us all.
Plan B back in action with us pushing Vicki back to Merv's room.  Vicki's carers are just young girls but they did something I had not thought of.  They put Vicki's chair next to Merv's and encouraged them to hold hands which they did and then they left the room for a few minutes to give them their own space.  They didn't talk to one another.  Communication is difficult for both of them; they simply sat in the quiet holding hands.  It was a precious time.
Vicki's carers were so touched they promised to bring her back the next day which they did.  Merv and his sister ate lunch together in his room and they held hands once again.  I don't know how long it will before they see each other again.  I'm glad it was such a lovely time for them both.







Saturday 10 November 2018

Not on the Cards

It's been a tough month.  The second time in as many months I have flown the coup enjoying a few days away.  Merv has not been neglected.  His community support workers have kept him company and comfortable.
As Merv's health continues to decline he continues to lose weight with his personal needs forever increasing. At times I am running to keep up with his needs.
The community support workers read my daily notes and add their comments in the communication book.  I noted recently there was no comment on Merv's delight in beating everyone who dares to play him at UNO.  How he loves the game of UNO.  He has played for too many years to remember.  His sly smile when the workers state his delight in meddling bordering on cheating.  Cheating?  Merv?  Absolutely!
I asked the workers and they gave me different answers.  One of them said he was too tired, the other said they hadn't had time.
I asked Merv instead.  He said it was difficult to hold the card holder.  I suggested I velcro the card holder to the tray table in front of him allowing him to be hands free.  He just said, "no, he didn't want to play anymore."
I sat and cried.  What will he give up next?  There's not a lot left to give up.