Party Poopers

Whether it's a party, get together or a fundraiser, there is no difference in people's reaction.  The group we're supposedly mixing with is nowhere to be seen but we can hear them laughing, sharing jokes and being jovial.  Just the way it should be.  Yes I agree, which is why I decide not to be part of it.  It's just too difficult.  If the group is outside in the chilly autumn air it's no good for Merv.  Just an everyday cold can turn into a lethal bout of pneumonia for him. 
I could chose to join the group and leave Merv by himself but I can't do this without berating myself, therefore we stay in the warmth of the room inside but there is no one to chat with so we sip on our drinks and I pour myself another wine or make another coffee.
I noticed people greeting Merv as his hand wavers in weird gestures in front of them as he endeavours to shake their hand as he used to do. I wonder if they are embarrassed or confused.  They remain motionless but some of them manage an animated wave.
Then they move on chatting and laughing to those who can reciprocate.
We recently hosted a get-together in the evening.  Everyone went outside or in a separate room and we were left in the kitchen/dining area.  There were people coming and going, helping to take things outside or helping with the cooking and serving.  I'm glad our guests had an enjoyable time together but we will be steering clear of further get togethers. 
Our friends with partners with HD and others where one partner has a disability physical or mental say exactly the same and experience the same behaviours.  The funny thing is when we get together with our HD/disability partners we sit the partners together. They sit and stare at one another while we sit, chat, laugh and have a whale of a time.  Then we remember who we are and feed our loved ones and encourage them to be part of the conversation before we go our separate ways.  Yes; they're just fed up and don't want to do anything but just go home.
It's just the way the world is.