I am not really a yo-yo person, I believe I am mostly in control of my life and what is happening in it but today I was left questioning my belief. I know as a carer I need to look after myself first to ensure I am healthy in body and mind to look after my loved ones. I started my day with my overdue mammogram. All done, very easy. Then off to the GP for a script and advice about malaria tablets when I holiday in South Africa in early October.
We were chatting like old friends, for I long ago adopted her as my one and only doctor and confidant. I mentioned I would know when it is time to step aside and allow an agency to provide personal care for Merv and her reply was not what I was looking for or expected. She simply said, "No, not everyone does. stepping aside will free you up." I smiled and replied I'd rather not think about it and changed the subject to other light-hearted things.
Her answer ricocheted in my mind throughout the afternoon. Another issue to consider, to weigh up, to chose to act on or to add to the, 'too hard basket.' I thought having been a support worker for a variety of agencies was the obvious answer. I know I am not comfortable giving up what I believe is my right in Merv's care. Now I am no longer confident that I will know when it's time to step aside, but I do know I need to look outside the box and see a bigger picture.
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