Respite

Originally my respite during the week was for the sole purpose to allow me to work.  We needed the money to pay the bills.  I did this for three years.  Rushing off to work, rushing home afterwards and having little time for myself away from home.  Did I feel guilty?  Sometimes, but we had bills which needed paying and I had a good job which paid well.  I looked after a large group of volunteers.  The volunteers assisted in providing transport for our elderly and disabled clients.  The volunteers also provided a number of other tasks which freed up staff to complete the tasks they were employed to complete.
After I resigned from work I continued to accept respite for Merv.  I no longer worked but I used my time to enjoy a day or more with Mel and follow my dreams in creative writing and other self-improvement skills.  Did I feel guilty?  Yes, but I knew I needed a break to keep me strong, or as the saying goes; 'to keep my head above water.'  There is no easy answer.  Today I was asked questions about my respite journey; answers to provide information about me for a respite care plan. This agency  provides us with a three hour respite each month. I use the time to take Mel to her four weekly clinic appointment.  Another agency provides respite on Wednesday afternoon and all day Thursday.  While I am away pursuing my dreams or spending quality time with Mel I have to believe and trust the support worker to read and carry out the instructions in Merv's care plan.  Will they know to prompt Merv to drink or will they forget?  Will they remember to prompt his lunch or remember to take his sunhat if they have a walk together?  Life is a lot about trust.