Broken Sleep

The quiet of night suddenly exploded with the smashing of sound just above me.  The booms of thunder came one after another like fireworks exploding in sequence.  I sat up in the darkness of my room, my mind making sense of the storm raging outside.  Yes a storm had been forecast, but I thought it said early morning?  I looked at my digital bedside clock it was 5am.  I suppose the weatherman would consider this, 'early morning',  to me it's still the middle of the night!  I am a late to bed person, arising anytime after 6am, rarely beforehand. 
The storm continued to rage and I wondered if it had woken Mel who lives about 10kms away.  It was too early to ring her and maybe, just maybe she was sleeping through it.  The lightning bolts came one after another, bringing eerie silhouettes against the horizon, the thunder responded time after time.  Eventually I nodded off  for an hour of restless sleep. 
My mind returned to 2008 when Merv, Mel and I were holidaying at Airlie Beach in Queensland a couple of days before taking a small plane to Lindeman Island  on the Great Barrier Reef.  Our beachside apartment was basic and little skinks ran across the ceiling as we turned the lights on at night.  We pretended not to see them and kept the lights off.  Mel has never been good with things which crawl and wiggle.  Our last night at Airlie Beach was disrupted by a terrifying tropical storm which had started at 3am and raged for an hour or more.  The morning had dawned with blue skies and no evidence of the storm.  I had remembered how it frightened us and left us fearful of the weather ahead.  We had no need to worry.
There are many storms in life, many of them we have no control over but we are in control of how we weather the storm.

Welcome Back

Merv's regular support worker, Joe had pressing family business overseas and was away for three weeks.  It is inevitable that support workers take holidays, medical breaks or leave altogether.  It happens all the time, but you hope it won't!  It takes time to mould a support worker (paid helper).  Firstly you have to get used to their personality and their idiosyncrasies.  In stating that, they have to get used to not only the person they are supporting plus their spouse and family members.  It is like a dance where everyone practises and learns the necessary steps ensuring no one steps on their toes.  If toes are stepped on, conflict results and it's only a phone call to the supervisor and a new support worker is knocking on your door and the dance practise begins all over again.  Familiarity is always a preference.  I remember when I was a support worker for a large community service provider.  I successfully applied to be an Assistant Coordinator and gave two weeks notice before beginning my new career in the office.  My clients were sad to see me go.  Some of them even cried and complained they would have to get used to someone new.  I had over time understood each of my clients and how I could support them while encouraging them to be as independent as possible in their own homes. 
Joe is back and we welcomed him and told him we missed him.  We did.  Joe has his flaws, those idiosyncrasies which we all have but he knows and understands Merv and the family and we don't want to start again with someone new.  Welcome back Joe.

Calling The Cavalry!

I was already tired when I awoke this morning and I knew I had to be ready for battle.  Not the sword wielding, armour wrestling type.  Far too easy.  The battle I was preparing leaves no bloodshed just frustration and exhaustion.  I arrived at Mel's unit at 9:30am.  She has moved to her new unit, which isn't really new, she was originally housed here almost three years ago before changing to another unit.  The units are part of a village style community for people with an array of mental health issues.
She stood alone in the middle of her room surrounded by piles of plastic bags and an array of paraphernalia.  I took a deep breath and stood with her.  Firstly the decision to be made; where to place the furniture including the bed to utilise the space efficiently.  Secondly to do the pushing, shoving, placing of furniture, changing the initial plan and trying all over again.  A support worker asked Mel to help clean up and pack her remaining belongings in her old unit.  I was left alone among the sea of bags and became quite overwhelmed at the task at hand.  I panicked and called the cavalry!  My sister was my point of call and I felt guilty she had worked an overnight shift and promised to come and help at 2pm after her shift finished.  Hope at last!  We stopped at 12pm for a break and some lunch but we were soon back on the scene. The support workers had rallied together and took charge of Mel's remaining belongings bringing them to her new unit just after we arrived back.  Now there were not only bags of stuff everywhere but bedding, shoes and clothing strewn over the lounge and bedroom floors.  Quietly I put bags of things she never uses into my car.  They will go home with me and never revisit the unit again.  To be fair I will go through everything and keep anything I think she will use or re-home it as necessary.  Mel is a hoarder of much and people generously give her things they no longer need or want.  I have a wonderful skill of throwing things when she isn't looking. 
Mel helped make the bed, put the 100's of DVDs and CDs away and hang the clothes in the wardrobe.  My sister like a soldier on a mission took charge of the clothes and bedding items in the lounge and was soon organising the bedroom as well. We were all so very tired and we called it a day after 3pm, promising to return to finalise the bedroom transformation.  With Mel's and my sister's help the task had been completed to a satisfactory level.  To be continued.....

Intuition

Explorers say the mountain ahead of them is there to be conquered and I am a bit the same with things of interest which come my way.  My local library advertised  four, one hour presentations on Intuition over four consecutive Wednesdays.  I booked myself in, hoping it would be something which would grab me, shake me and speak to my inner being.  I imagined during one of my many lucid moments intuition would be beneficial in my caring role.  What was I thinking? 
The presenter shared the meaning of intuition from her Google search on Wikipedia; 'The word intuition comes from Latin verb intueri which is usually translated as to look inside or to contemplate.^'  She pointed out Richard Branson and Steve Jobs both used intuition in their business journey.
I had arrived at the library just on 10am to an almost full room, there were only three empty seats. The presenter raised her eyebrows and stated she was not happy with anyone arriving late.  I thought I was exactly on time!  She was wearing a black pant suit, a colourful nylon scarf and shabby joggers. I wondered about the joggers and what they represented. I was looking for some action by this time but kept slipping past my intuitiveness into a relaxed state of slumber. Quick, Pamela I thought to myself; sit up straight or perch on the edge of your seat.  We were all encouraged to share about ourselves for a few minutes and I listened attentively until the man at the end of the room shared a mind blowing belief.  He wasn't sure if he is on the right planet!  The woman next to him agreed and the presenter smiled.  Oh goodness me,  I don't have time to consider thoughts about what planet I should be on!  The hour wore on with nothing of note shaking me into a conscious awareness.  The presenter complained a number of times that the morning tea trolley had not been delivered as she was hanging out for a coffee before her hospital appointment she was to rush off to in an hour.  My hour into a different world was effective.  I learnt intuition maybe a gift which we can all explore but I will continue my journey feeling more in tune with life and relaxed if I miss the presentations and just get on with life.

Staying Put

People tell me moving house is as stressful as a heart attack or a divorce.  I am not likely to find out any time soon.  We bought this house, with the bank's help in 1985 and we are still here!  As a young girl my family moved around so often and I vividly remember changing primary schools in the last six months of  my last year.  The primary school was small and the kids friendly which helped but I promised not to do that to our own children.   Dustin was eight and Mel was six when we moved here and after they finished high school we thought about moving.  We went and looked here and there and always returned home, put up our feet and had a cuppa.  We were home, why did we want to move?  Our neighbours have all been here longer than us.  All our children grew up together playing in each other's yards and cricket on the local oval.  They bought their own cars and added sub-woofers keeping the neighbourhood rocking with headaches all night! Eventually they left home and some of these now grown children have their own children.  I have no plans to move at present.  We spent $30,000 in renovations last year, knowing my working career would soon finish.  Half of the money went into a complete renovation of our very tired and shabby bathroom.  Our builder stripped the bathroom completely.  The old bath was replaced with a modern toilet, floor to ceiling classic modern tiles, non-slip floor tiles and quality accessories. We now have a walk-in shower, commonly known as a, 'wet room.'  It is ideal to shower Merv and there is plenty of room for the shower chair.
Mel rang today and said she is moving from her current unit to another unit in the village which she lives.  She is so excited and the support staff helped her move her belongings.  I am surprised she owns so much, I am very good at chucking stuff.  Last year when we had the house recarpeted, Dustin and I moved all the furniture out of each room.  What a field day I had, chucking this and chucking that.  I don't have any regrets, but I do have more room in my cupboards and wardrobes!

Respite

Originally my respite during the week was for the sole purpose to allow me to work.  We needed the money to pay the bills.  I did this for three years.  Rushing off to work, rushing home afterwards and having little time for myself away from home.  Did I feel guilty?  Sometimes, but we had bills which needed paying and I had a good job which paid well.  I looked after a large group of volunteers.  The volunteers assisted in providing transport for our elderly and disabled clients.  The volunteers also provided a number of other tasks which freed up staff to complete the tasks they were employed to complete.
After I resigned from work I continued to accept respite for Merv.  I no longer worked but I used my time to enjoy a day or more with Mel and follow my dreams in creative writing and other self-improvement skills.  Did I feel guilty?  Yes, but I knew I needed a break to keep me strong, or as the saying goes; 'to keep my head above water.'  There is no easy answer.  Today I was asked questions about my respite journey; answers to provide information about me for a respite care plan. This agency  provides us with a three hour respite each month. I use the time to take Mel to her four weekly clinic appointment.  Another agency provides respite on Wednesday afternoon and all day Thursday.  While I am away pursuing my dreams or spending quality time with Mel I have to believe and trust the support worker to read and carry out the instructions in Merv's care plan.  Will they know to prompt Merv to drink or will they forget?  Will they remember to prompt his lunch or remember to take his sunhat if they have a walk together?  Life is a lot about trust.

Fathers Day Delight

'Wakey, wakey,' I greeted Merv as I opened the blind in his room this morning.  It's the first day of September, the first day of Spring and Father's Day all wrapped into one!  Mel stayed over and we were waiting with presents to surprise him.  Breakfast was nothing special as the day ahead was filled with food.  Mel surprised her Dad with a 'Super Dad' mug containing three choc lollies; a football, a soccer ball and a golf ball.  Merv had asked for a torch and Mel gave him a fluorescent tiny torch attached to a larnyard.  It's very easy for Merv to use especially when he is in respite and needs to go to the toilet in the middle of the night.  I gave Merv his new techno shaver.  I had already charged it and we tried it out before our walk this morning.  Works really well!  I also bought Merv a water bottle holder with strap.  He can take his water bottle in the holder, when he goes out and does not have to worry about dropping it or having to carry it in a bag.  The strap fits snugly across his shoulder and won't fall off.  It is dark green in colour and looks very blokey!  Dustin arrived after our walk in the park as I was preparing morning tea.  I cooked Merv a new chocolate cake and served it with strawberries and cream.  Yummy.  A short drive into the Swan Valley and we arrived at Chesters Restaurant for lunch.  We ordered first and visited the cellar door to sample their wines.  The restaurant was full but we were the only wine tasters.  We not only sampled many of their wines but stayed and enjoyed a chat about a variety of topics; local and otherwise.  Lunch was scrumptious, Merv and Mel had the Barramundi,  Dustin the Lamb Shanks and myself the beautiful Tasmanian Salmon topped with bacon wrapped perfectly cooked asparagus. The salmon was perched on a delicious potato-inspired square, all light and delicious.  Dessert came next and Dustin and I shared a beautiful sticky date pudding complete with homemade ice-cream and syrup.  Ohh, it was delightful.  Merv enjoyed a lemon merinque and Mel was amazing and refused everything stating her Weight Watchers journey should not be jeopardised.   We arrived home and on the way to drop Mel off at her unit we decided the day had not finished and what could be more perfect than a visit to the Dome Café for late afternoon tea?  Merv beamed at the thought of apple pie and cream washed down with a chocolate milkshake!  Mel had the skinny choc drink along with Dustin and I stuck with coffee.  The day was soon finished and we resigned ourselves to the comfort of our lounge chairs and a well deserved rest.