The Wedding

 Magazines are full of wedding stories where something goes wrong or the bride or groom have second thoughts and never show.   The magazines can keep their stories. 

I know I'm bragging but it was a perfect wedding on a perfect day on Saturday 31^st January.

Grace and Dustin were the model bride and groom and everyone said so on the day.  It certainly was a warm day but the clouds kept the sun cooler and the rain stayed away.

I started the day with a stroll around the resort with Dustin and a relaxing swim in the pool before waking Merv and the day started rolling.

It was with trepidation I asked Dustin to take Merv and Mel out while I decorated the 84 cupcakes! I had imagined he had far more important things to take care of but he was happy to help out.  By 9:30am I had the unit to myself with my cakes, buttercream, piping nozzles and my favourite music on my iPad.  I cleared my mind, started my music and remembered the all-important You Tube video.  "The piping nozzle is held directly over the middle of the cake, touch the cake with the nozzle - let it kiss the cake."  I kissed every single cupcake before perfecting the swirl and balancing a sugar flower on top!  Perfecto.  All done in just under two hours.

The rest of the day flew past and by 2:30pm Dustin, his Best Man and Groomsman were running more than fifteen minutes late.  Finally they are on their way and at last we could use the bathrooms!

While straightening Mel's hair (bless her hairdresser who suggested we straighten her gloriously curly hair), shaving Merv I finished checking my list, everything was complete.

It's closer to 4pm than 3:30pm and we are outside the function room at the resort.  The extended family is already there, it is us who are late.  Grace is due to walk down the red carpet at 4pm!

Everything goes to plan.  Dustin and his two mates are standing at attention while everyone is seated. Grace appears like an angel in her beautiful bridal gown walking down the aisle on the arm of her uncle.  The delightfully cute little flower girls walk ahead scattering rose petals on the floor preparing the path for Grace.

There are almost tears as she flows gracefully to join hands with her groom.  They clutch hands tightly and stagger over their words at time.  We all smile, most of us have been there before!  It is a beautiful sensitive Christian ceremony and before long the Pastor announces them, Husband and Wife.  I catch my breath, it is completed and they are now one.

The newlyweds disappear for photos with the bridal party while we make ourselves comfortable in the resort's restaurant celebrating with drinks and helping ourselves to canapés.

The sky clouds over and the night sky hides the sun as we find our tables in the reception room.  Little jars of bright blue lollies on the tables are tied with ribbons with our names displayed.  No silly name place cards in sight!

I help organise the cupcakes on the cupcake stand, much to younger sister's horror.  I know she wants to pull me by the arm and let the staff arrange the cakes, but I ignore her concerns.  I am happy with the presentation and within minutes a swarm of camera wielding guests begin snapping away and oohing and arrh-ing.  I have thoughts of the buttercream melting and ending on the floor but I dismiss the thought and just enjoy the celebration.

Dustin and Grace reappear in the foyer and we arrange a family photo before they make their grand entrance into the reception room.  Oh photograph memories...I love them.

The buffet is in full swing and a little food is good as I have already had a couple of Moscato's.  The buffet is well thought of with a selection of salad, pork or lamb roast and numerous vegetable dishes. 

The speeches are next and while Dustin has been fretting about his for the last few weeks, I am sure I hear him breathe a sigh of relief when he is finished without faltering.  We toast the bride and the bridesmaids.  There are more speeches and praying over the happy couple.

The top cake of the wedding cake looks wonderful with the wedding toppers.  Dustin and Grace pretend to cut the cake for the photos.  The staff distributes my cupcakes and the compliments start flying.  I breathe a sigh of relief, everything is good. Dessert is served and we take advantage of cheesecake, mousse and pavlova.  Why not, it'll be back to jelly and custard tomorrow night!

The night finishes with dancing.  Grace and Dustin take to the dance floor and we are thrilled they have practised as they treat us to amazing swirls and twirls and some very fancy foot work! 

Merv and I get up and shuffle.  It's too hard to dance like we used to, but I place Merv's hands around my waist and move to the music.  After he returns to his seat, younger sister, myself and lots of young people are stomping along to the beat of  the YMCA and various other well-known songs.

It's been a long day and finally we head back to our unit 100m away. 

It has been a very happy day. 

Congratulations Dustin and Grace, we know it will last forever.

Beware Hazard Ahead

Dustin and Grace are marrying this Saturday. I have finally bought my dress.  I have numerous things sorted and the sky ahead appeared bright and blue.  I am a list person.  I have a list for just about everything to do with the wedding and our preparation.  Not that I am particularly involved.  I am baking and decorating the cupcakes. Besides being the parents of the groom there are no other demands on us.

Today was perfect weather for baking and this afternoon I  had baked 52 fluffy white wedding cupcakes.  Tomorrow I will bake the remaining 30 or so.  I delighted in my baking tasks, all of which went like clockwork.  Goodness me, my last trial only last week was a horrifying disaster but the hazards were eliminated and today was a breeze.  My freezer now hums and bulges with trays of ready to decorate cupcakes.  The cute baking cups are uniquely tall with silver flecks on sapphire blue.  I picture them on the home made cupcake stand which is adorned with white rose trimming.  A lovely thought but it will have to wait until Saturday.

Yes the wedding is on Saturday and everything was rosy and humming along nicely.  That was until Mel rang me last night! 
"Listen to me, mum," she cried. 
I stopped in my busyness and listened.  What horrid news was she about to dump on me? 
"I am moving on Tuesday," she continued.  "To another unit, just down the road!"

I froze, I could neither move nor speak.  I could only remember the last two times she moved.  The first time the Support Worker said he would help her move.  At 6pm, after I had worked all day she had rang and said the SW was cooking the barbeque and couldn't help.  I took Merv with me and three hours later with Mel’s help I had moved everything into her new unit.  Everything was just dumped on the floor in boxes. It was such a mess I took Mel home with me before returning the next day to sort it out.  It was another six hours later before the unit appeared liveable.

Twelve months later and she was moving again, back to the unit she had previously left.  This time it wasn't quite as bad, but it still took many hours to sort out her belongings. I had rang my older sister in despair.  She found me standing motionless amongst an avalanche of stuff, needing someone to encourage me.  She didn't stay long, she was busy elsewhere.

Now it is about to happen all over again.  This is what I said:
"Your brother is getting married next weekend; I am baking and decorating 80 cupcakes.  I have so much to do before the wedding and even packing bags and cakes to stay at the resort for two nights is taking all my time.  YOU CAN NOT MOVE THIS WEEK, do you HEAR me?"  I repeated it again, just in case she didn't.

She did.  She went very quiet for at least two seconds and simply said, "It's OK mum, I will move the following week."

I am not looking forward to it, but it's not about me.  Every mum knows they just want their kids to be happy!

No Pain No Gain

I cheekily hopped into bed last night.  I was bragging to myself that my morning of Fitbox and yoga had no effect on this old body of mine. 

After what I thought was a good night’s sleep I awoke, rolled over and I felt I had been hit by a  train!  Everything hurt.  I rolled out of bed.  I groaned.  I moaned a little more.  There was a big day ahead. 

What had I done yesterday?  For the first time in many years there I was running, yes running around the room with girls so much younger than me!  There were repeated push ups, mountain striding (an exercise on all fours) plus boxing and kicking exercises on the punch bag.  I hadn't done that before!

Just to be smart I followed my Fitbox lesson with a yoga class.  Mel had already done her session in the gym and joined me for the yoga class. I've never done yoga before and neither had Mel. I know Mel had done one class of Pilates a few months ago and never went back.

The supple young instructor started our lesson with soothing music and relaxation.  Easy I thought.  Lying on my back for an hour, I could do that.  Then all sorts of crazy things began to happen.  There was the downward dog and other weird names for body positions I haven't done since I was seven.  I am sure we did each of them a hundred times.  There were balancing acts which involved getting up from lying position on the mat to standing in one fluid move.  I could only achieve it by; stumble, pull, stumble, wince (mutter) and rock into what appeared a balanced action.  At least I hoped.  The end result was the same but it included five extra steps!  Mel was contorted uncomfortably.  I thought to myself it will get better for her.  By the time we had finished I thought a swim in the pool would suit her much better. 

The hour passed as I checked my watch.  Surely it would finish soon?  Everyone was in deep relaxation.  I was thinking about what to have for lunch.  We were instructed to straddle our body up against the wall with our head on the floor and our feet half way up the wall.  Everyone was relaxing and thinking happy thoughts, except for Mel who looked at me sideways and grimaced.  I had no idea how I was going to get down.  I hoped no one was looking as I uncurled myself with a thud!  It was now thirty minutes past the hour.  I was bored and I tried convincing myself it could only get better.  As we finally finished I was the first through the door with my mat under my arm.  I didn't stop to wonder if my mat would ever touch that floor again.  I have a week to convince myself to return.  It can only get better, or not!

Christmas Comedy

If it wasn't Christmas Day it wouldn't have been such a drama.  The day started well.  The sun was up long before me and the weatherman promised it would  be warm to hot, but not too hot.  It is after all Perth in Australia and we are well into our first month of summer.

The night before I had prepared, cooked and arranged everything from table decorations to chocolate mousse.  This morning the list in my head had me vacuuming and cleaning the bathroom and toilets.  I showered and woke Merv and Mel.  Christmas greetings of kisses and hugs followed by breakfast and dressing before opening their presents.  The late John Lennon sang his famous Christmas tune.  Nothing unusual there.

Then the gremlins came out to play!  I opened the fridge and it was dark inside.  No welcoming light.  It's Christmas Day; a blown light globe is not a problem.  Not until I heard Merv calling out from the lounge.  The TV had stopped.  I knew what the problem was.  I ran out of the house to the meter box  to flip back the RCD switch.  It wouldn't budge!

Back inside the house I turned off switches and pulled plugs.  Back to the meter box but there was no joy.  I ran around the house pulling plugs in bedrooms and turning off the Wi-Fi.  I sigh, run back outside but still there is no joy.  My mind races to the last time this happened on a Saturday night.  I had rang a local electrician and he wanted $300 to come out and have a look!  I hung up on him and fixed it myself.  It it's $300 for a Saturday night I started to sweat at what a Christmas Day call out would be.  I take a grip of myself and figured I was missing a switch somewhere.  I tried the microwave which has its own cubby hole.  I stood on a chair with the large awkward appliance balancing against my shoulders while I use a wooden spoon as my extended arm to turn off the switch on the back wall.  I slide it back and run outside.  It's not the microwave. 

I stand still but my mind is racing.  'Cupboards,' my mind screams and I flung open the door which houses the dishwasher power point.  I sigh with relief.  There is water dripping from the bench above onto the power point.  I pull the plug.  I run to the meter box and flip the RCD.  Yes, I have power!

I then run around the house plugging in and turning on every power point, except of course the dishwasher.  Merv settles down and watches the TV again.  It's only 9:30am, too early to open a bottle of wine, I make coffee instead.  I have lost 15 minutes but it's OK.

My mobile buzzes and Dustin explains he will be late to pick up Mum.  He has left Grace's present at home.  I gulp my coffee and ask why he hadn't put the present next to his car keys.  He explains he had and he continues to give me a minute by minute account of his actions.  I don't have time to listen and cut him short.  I toy with the idea I can pick up Mum and then pick up Vicki while cooking the turkey, preparing morning tea (most of the preparation had been done last night and the presentation on plates was all that is needed).  I already sound flustered!

Mel is peeling, trimming and cutting up vegetables.  The potatoes are finished and the turkey is in the oven.  Hours later I realise I had forgotten to cover it with foil but by that time it is too late.  Needless to say the turkey was moist and tender.

I throw the morning tea onto plates and platters and arrange them on the table.  It looks OK.  I am ready to leave if necessary but I haven't yet swept the front path.  Our huge ponytail plant flowers prolifically just before Christmas. The bees encircle high above while the pollen loaded flower puffs flood the paving and cling to the doormat.  Yes a hazard for the elderly and disabled.  I get the broom.

I ring Dustin, a miracle has happened and he has made up 15 minutes.  I sigh again and finish my cold coffee.

I finish prettying the table and leave Mel in charge of Merv while I shoot out to pick up Vicki.  She is over 30 minutes away.  That is an hours round trip and however long it takes for her to be ready.  I arrive to pick her up and the staff are not expecting me!  I had rang the day before with specific instructions.  Vicki greets me and within 15 minutes she is in the car and we are heading home.  We chat as we drive.

It is now almost 11:30am and I remember the turkey is cooking (without the foil), the potatoes are prepared but not in the oven.  I sigh, almost time for wine.  As I enter the house to get the wheelchair for Vicki I hope everyone is enjoying morning tea but I find morning tea is untouched.  I lose my cool. Will nothing go right this morning?

Vicki is on the ground on the driveway.  Family  members had attempted to help her out of the car. Why didn't they wait?  I have transferred Vicki many times, I know what works for her.  Vicki is shaken and unhappy.  We get her into the wheelchair and in the house.  Everyone is rather sheepish after my outburst and make their way to the table.  Poor Merv is sitting in his Lift chair and can't move.  I had forgotten to turn on the power point for his chair.  I turn it on and leave him to get up by himself.  I grab the bottle of wine and a glass.  Better not drink straight from the bottle! While everyone makes coffee (I ask for one also) and eat cake, biscuits and cheese I busy myself, grabbing the turkey out of the oven and pushing in the potatoes and pumpkin. Done.  It will be awhile before lunch, which is OK, morning tea has finished just before 12pm!

We play 'Secret Santa.'  Everyone has fun, a giggle and will take home a present. Mum and Vicki swap their presents for someone else's which is more suitable for them.

I settle for another glass of wine but stop there, I will be back on the road in a couple of hours.  We finally have lunch at 1:30pm after chatting to family members on the phone and watching taped Christmas Carols on the TV.

Merv gives thanks for our food before we grab our neighbour’s bon-bon and together pulling and yanking as it explodes sending paper hat, joke and plastic trinket over the table and becoming lost on the floor.

The turkey is tender, the ham is moist.  Dinner goes ahead without a hitch.

We chat happily enjoying each other's company.  This is what Christmas is all about; family
enjoying time together.  It's not long before I am taking Vicki home.  Dustin and Grace take Mum home.

It has been a lovely Christmas celebration.

Precious Time

She lay on the mattress which was on the floor.   I know why Merv's sister has no bedframe, just a mattress.  A practice to prevent her from falling but it’s not so easy to get up! 

I sat down next to her and held her hand.  It was her 64th birthday and the day had been long for her.  She had many visitors and staff call in to celebrate with her today.  There were flowers, a white bunch and a purple bunch.  I smiled and presented her with an orange and yellow flower arrangement, specially made for her by my local florist. 

She held my hand.  I could tell she was tired and wanted to rest.  We chatted.  Mostly it was me who chatted while she listened to me nattering away.

She grabbled for a sheet of paper which balanced on her knees.  She gave it to me and said it was for me.  A large square of orange craft paper with the words, 'To Pam' scrawled on it.  I was as pleased as punch.  I could see she had carefully thought it out and with a little help from staff had glued on butterflies, angels and baubles.  It is beautiful.  I was very touched.

Each time I visit I bring her presents, feed her at Christmas and Easter never expecting anything in return other than her company and the joy of sharing time with her.  With HD, time is precious for her. We never know when she will be taken from us.

Today was a special day for both of us.

It was a day of significance.  I had promised to bring Grace my future daughter in law with me.  A promise she had remembered. 

I am so pleased they have met.

Techno Savvy

There was no mention of it on the TV news but it would have been a worthy good-news story. 
I had imagined the headline; 'Great Grandmother and Son in Law (with disability) embrace new life!  In the very same week my Mum of 84 years and Merv each received their own iPads.  Neither of them have used a computer or tablet before but both of them have excelled in such a short time.
After almost twelve months Merv's funding had been approved and his wheelchair, iPad and accessories were finally received.  Nothing is quite that simple!  It had involved months of training on the speech app, Proloqu2go.  To transfer the information from the iPad belonging to the speech pathologist to Merv's iPad we required two speech pathologists and two hours of time.  My wifi proved slow but it finally coughed and spluttered with encouragement from  iTunes on my home computer.  Finally the speech app was downloaded on Merv's spanking new iPad.  The speech pathologists said their goodbyes and we were left together in an empty house staring at the new addition to our family.

'Email,' I muttered wildly adding information which continued to be rejected.  A little Google research and after numerous false starts Merv had his email address up and running.  Another milestone. 

Music was next.  Merv is a fan of most 60's and 70's music.  We downloaded 30 Elvis songs, a Cher album (I didn't even know he liked Cher!) and we did a little iPad sharing, downloading  a couple of my albums.
Merv's hand is poised with his fluorescent green stylus.  He is a keen student.  I know it's going to take some time before he is confident to be independent with it. 

It was just coincident that Mum also received her iPad the same week.  There was no funding available for her and she paid for her own.  Mum has been using a typewriter for many years to send letters to relatives in the UK.  Each letter takes about 5 days to arrive overseas but firstly you have to put it in a mailbox!  Now she types out an email, presses the send button and it's almost there!  Not only is Mum sending emails to everyone she is surfing the net and playing all types of games including Candy Crush.  A modern day Great Granny!

I am very proud of both Merv and Mum, two very unexpected techno savvy everyday people of note.

Merv singing along with Elvis on his iPad

 

Pain of Comfort Food

Merv hasn't had a sick day in four years and I'm not far behind.  At least until last week.  It was a week like any other; there were chores to do, things to buy and places to visit.  Then it happened.  Right out of the blue there was a niggle in my jaw.  I thought about the pain in my gum.  I had been gargling with mouth wash.  It helped a couple of months before with no further pain.  It didn't help today.  I have an appointment with the dentist next week.
The following day my gum and jaw held their own meeting consenting together to form a large painful lump where they shared common ground.  Out came the painkillers.  I fossicked for something stronger than Panadol but the thought of nodding off to sleep during the day kept me on the soft stuff.

My GP, as expected was booked and I grudgingly settled for the UK lady doctor with the loud voice.  She knew what she was talking about and handed me a prescription for extra strong penicillin.  She shouted instructions on pain killers but my brain was already disengaged and I strode off to the pharmacy to get those merciless goodie pills into me.  It had only been 24 hours but I could still remember the joy of good health and no pain. 

The packet told me to take medication with food.  I ransacked the fridge and ate everything I could throw on a plate.  Not everything made it to the plate.  I took my medication.  I took my painkillers.  I knew there was a long road ahead.  My swelling was still huge and throbbing but the pain killers worked quickly and I felt almost human. Goodness knows how I looked.

The very next day armed with the pain killers I headed off to the hospital to see a sick family member and visited Melanie afterwards.    My painful jaw was hanging around my knees and I held it up with my cupped hand.  It helped.

The sun set and rose again. I had visions of digging and planting in the garden, instead I sat in my chair holding my jaw and wondering if I would ever feel whole again.   We had a dinner invite that evening and I didn't want to decline.  I made a Jamie Oliver cheesecake full of wholesome cream cheese and double cream!  The crust was good the filling was runny.  I didn't care.  I stuck some strawberries on the top and it looked lovely.  Pity about the filling!  The dinner invite included the hostess, her husband and another couple.  We laughed, we chatted, we enjoyed.  Not once did I mention I was sick. 

The following day the weekend was on our doorstep and I all I could do was grab my pillows and make myself comfy on the sofa.  The TV entertained us while I drifted in and out of sleep.  Though I was tired, listless and sleepy I was still able to feed Merv and grunt any necessary information. He missed his shower that day but I made sure he had one the following day.   Sunday was pretty much identical to Saturday but my energy had began to resurface.

I'm now off the sofa but oh so very tired.  It just may be a week or two before the real me reappears!