Break Time

It's been a long month. Spring has lost it's way with below seasonal temperatures and heaters still gobbling up more energy and adding to our power bills.  When I packed Merv's suitcase for his two week respite stay I added a mix of winter and spring clothes.  It is so cold for October.
He seems to accept his fate at his regular respite centre.  He knows the residents, the staff and I know he will settle in well. Dustin and Grace visit each weekend and often take him out for a chocolate drink and cake.  His service providers allow his regular support workers to visit on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I am pleased he gets some one to one attention.

As usual I just feel guilty.  I always feel guilty but what can I do?  I just need a break from the humdrum of everyday life.  There are no weekends off, no public holidays just four weeks a year respite.  Admittedly we have support workers visit each week and Merv attends two day centres during the week.  There are no set times for being a carer.  My job begins the minute I take over from the support worker and I get a break when he is tucked up in bed after another long day.  His personal care needs attended to with precision and care.  Then it's time for me to relax before I head off to bed to start all over again the following day!
Knowing there is time to stop during respite to smell the roses, to recharge my batteries as one would say which proves just the thing to keep me going.  There are times when I'm happy and joyous and other times when the world appears to sit upon my shoulders bending my spine and kicking my confidence.  I cry, I scream, I swear before I pick myself up, dust myself down to start all over again.  That is just how it is.
I often like to travel abroad during my respite break but this time around selling our house to downsize (especially the garden) is taking most of my time.  My family are helping with the garden this weekend.  I've ordered the mulch, compared prices for plants and hanging baskets while balancing my time to rest, catch up with a movie or two and spend time with friends and family.
Yesterday my sandstone floor which I love was cleaned and resealed.  Was it really that dirty?  Yes it was but it looks amazing now!
Between work and play I have enjoyed both worlds.  I spent 3 days last week travelling down south to visit family and friends.  I had an amazing time.  Just to relax, have fun and not worry about the time was rejuvenating to my body and soul.

Merv enjoys an outing with Dustin and Grace last week

my lovely cleaned and sealed Sandstone floor

Next Monday Merv returns home.  I look forward to seeing him, sharing a hug and my adventures before once again resuming my carer/wife role.